It’s essential to our well being that we check ourselves every once in awhile whether it be done by ourselves or someone else who assists in “checking us”. I definitely had to check myself today! It began with those picture grams with all those self help /inspirational quotes. I know i know but they have been everywhere I socially turn this week. “Be grateful and your suffering will end”, “what god has given you is enough” “someone is happier with less than you have right now”. Ummm… Okay… And my first question was: your point is what exactly?
At first I did what most of us do and felt terrible for not living by these standards. I needed to be grateful. I needed to be satisfied with everything in my present life and give thanks. I needed to stop thinking of what could be or what I don’t have. Then and only then will I be happy because I’d no longer be “ungrateful”. Right? Wrong.
I felt absolutely terrible until I sat back and re-evaluated that although I do appreciate this perspective and that they are not totally wrong it still wasn’t going to erase my true inner feelings. It wasn’t going to change me , well it might’ve changed the way I felt for a day of two but not for the long run.
We are so often given a standard. How to think feel behave what to say practice and follow. How can you really move forward and know yourself in this way?… You can’t. You may feel uneasy and unhappy about where you are or where you aren’t. You may have a hard time being grateful for what you have because you simply aren’t fulfilled. In addition, if you are frantically looking for an immediate resolution being told ” be grateful” might heighten the anxiety because… Well you just can’t?
I’m going to ask you to do one thing today… Sit in your feelings of discomfort. If you are not in a state of being or place you want to presently be in that’s ok. Tell yourself ” hey self its ok!” Stop being so hard on yourself and don’t panic because that’s not going to get you there anyway. We are so often led by the stigma that negative feelings are NO GOOD and should be avoided. Negative feelings may be.. well negative … BUT they are existent nonetheless and if you have them something positive may come of getting to know how or why they exist versus shunning them into silence. Getting to know yourself includes all of what makes you you and sometimes we have to face that. You don’t want to accept it exists because Gee I don’t know the picture gram on FB told you that it’s wrong! I understand that but it won’t help change how you may feel.
Being more grateful ( or more of anything) may bring someone more happiness but perhaps you can start by working on getting there and what it takes to accomplish that rather than obsessing and feeling bad about not being there presently.
I want to assist on helping you check yourself if you need it that is. Don’t let all these “standards to live by” presented to you by the media and other people steer you into self destruction. Everything on the outside is ever changing so if you live by what’s being told to you by outside forces then you will never be satisfied. Get to know you: the good bad ugly and pretty then define your own standards. You control the level of change on the inside so you won’t be frantic or in a panic looking to satisfy what matters most… Your happiness within yourself.